Is Eli Manning the best quarterback in the House of Manning?
Has the Patriots Dynasty finally crumbled?
We'll leave the X's and O's to the folks at ESPN. We have a higher calling: It's time to hand out the Lubbsies.
It is the goal of the Lubbsies to applaud -- and ridicule -- the best and worst of the Super Bowl commercials and just about anything other than the game itself.
So here is the best and the worst of Super Bowl XLVI:
Best Pregame Show: "Puppy Bowl VIII" on Animal Planet. Watching all those cute puppies run amok on a dog-sized gridiron sure beat that up-to-the-minute analysis of what Tom Brady's wife, Gisele, was going to wear to the game. All that chaos resembled the Minnesota Vikings offense.
Most Surprising Performance: NASCAR superstar Dale Earnhardt Junior for his beautiful duet with Miranda Lambert on "America the Beautiful." Wait ... that was Blake Shelton? Could have fooled me.
So Those Are The Words To The National Anthem? Award: Although she didn't remind anyone of Whitney Houston, Kelly Clarkson nailed our national song and apparently didn't need to download the lyrics ahead of time.
The Hey! Turn It Quick! The Kids Are Still Up! Award: A tie between David Beckham's H&M underwear ad and any of the GoDaddy.com commercials. Mr. Beckham, do those tattoos come with the underwear? And, Danica, are you racing toward the winner's circle or a career in soft porn?
Comeback Of The Year Award: Motley Crue for performing "Kickstart My Heart" in Optima's dream car commercial. I had the same dream just a couple of nights ago. Honorable mention: To Grape Ape's appearance in a MetLife ad. Welcome back, Hanna Barbera!
Best Movie Trailer: "Battleship" There's explosions, robots, aliens, alien robots, more explosions, battleships, Liam Neeson. What's not to like? Plus, I heard Brooklyn Decker is in it.
The Is It Hot In Here Or Am I Merely Watching A Super Bowl Commercial Featuring A Brazilian Super Model? Award: Teleflora for its steamy use of roses, mood lighting and Adriana Lima. I suspect flower sales will hit an all-time high today.
The Milli Vanilli Award: To the Material Girl, Madonna, for her halftime "performance." Plus, I'm disappointed she didn't perform "Crazy For You" from her heyday in the 80s. ... when I was still in junior high. Nice use of the set from "Spartacus" though.
Best Pep Talk: Clint Eastwood and for his "It's Halftime In America" Chrysler spot. Sure got me fired up. Word is "Dirty Harry" is already 10 points ahead of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich in the Republicans' latest presidential candidate poll. President Obama was sitting in the White House thinking, "Man, wish I had thought of that!"
The Song Everyone Is Going To Be Downloading Today Award: "I Believe In a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. Samsung's over-the-top ad featured the addictive tune and outlandish guitarist Justin Hawkins decked out in something from the Joker's closet.
The Vampires Be Gone Award: For Audi's magical vampire-killing headlamps. Now, if only that would work on those "Twilight" geeks.
Worst-dressed: New England coach Bill Belichick and his hoodie. Gee, coach, why not throw on a pair of orange sweatpants for next year's Super Bowl?
Best Use Of Nostalgia: The "Star Wars" cantina scene at the end of Volkswagen's overweight dog commercial. Good use of The Force.
Worst Use Of Nostalgia: Jerry Seinfeld and Acura. Hey, if you're going to put a funny guy in a commercial, better make sure he has some funny material. That was about as lame as an Ovaltine joke.
The Hey! Get A Room! Award: Any member of the New York Giants who fondled or bussed the Lombardi Trophy during that ridiculous trophy procession after the game. I sure hope they disinfected it afterward.
The Trick That Every Dog Owner In America Will Be Teaching His Dog Today: Bud Light's "Here We Go" spot. "Fetch," "sit" and "play dead" just aren't going to cut it anymore.
Best Use Of Animals: The chimpanzees in CareerBuilder.com. Why? Because chimps are always funny.
Best In Show: The Doritos-bribing dog that buried the cat. Bravo! Doritos consistently had the best ads of the night, but that sneaky dog was the best of the bunch.
The Cindy Crawford-Diet Pepsi Hall Of Fame Award: The biggest Lubbsie goes to Honda CR-V and Matthew Broderick for their fine slice of nostalgia with a fun spoof of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." "Broderick? Broderick? Broderick? Broderick?" Playing hooky is trendy again.
Well, that's it for the 2012 Lubbsie Awards. Hope you enjoyed at least a few of this year's Super Bowl ads. The best part of the night, for me anyway, was the absence of Flo from those Progressive Insurance commercials.
She kind of creeps me out.
Contact News Tribune sports editor Rick Lubbers at
or (218) 723-5317. If he doesn't immediately return your call or e-mail, he may be pulling a Bueller.