Reader's view: Time for Americans to take the Tea Party oath

Thanks to the Tea Party's intellect-driven effort to expose our federal government as the world's first elected dictatorship, all patriotic Americans will surely vote Republican this fall. However, since there are socialists and spies everywhere, we must cleanse our ballots by insisting all candidates take the following Conservative Loyalty Oath:

I promise to support the following constitutional amendment: "Some exclusions may apply."

I promise to insist that anyone who disagrees with me hates America.

I promise to ridicule any legislation proposed by the Obama administration, even if it's something that I've staunchly supported in the past.

I promise to exploit every sensitive or emotional issue for political gain.

I promise that I'll complain about the lack of bipartisanship while ridding the party of anyone who attempts to compromise with the Democrats.

I promise to restore God in America by hiding my homosexuality or extramarital affairs.

I promise that if I ever run for president, I'll first get a job with Fox News.

I promise that if I ever struggle to answer a question honestly, I'll blame the reporter for asking a "gotcha" question.

I promise to keep the American dream alive by making the poor and middle class even more envious of the rich.

I promise to quit halfway through my term because I can better serve America by not getting bogged down with all that leading and governing stuff.

I promise to restore America's freedoms by hinting at violence if we don't get our way.

I promise not to let the need for a livable environment interfere with corporate profits.

I promise to sacrifice the well-being of ordinary citizens so I can boldly reject federal funds.

I promise to get the federal government out of our private lives except for where we can impose a conservative religious agenda.

Frank Cleave

Duluth