Two lonesome cowboys were astride their horses tending cattle one night when a spaceship landed nearby. A couple green creatures with large heads disembarked, ambled up to them, and inquired, "Is this California?"

“Why no,” the cowboys replied, “this is Texas. California is about a thousand miles west.”

“What are those creatures behind you? Are they hippies?”

“Nah,” the cowboys answered again, “they're just cattle and only good for eating.”

The spaceship sped away, and one cowboy remarked, "Guess they thought our cattle we're hippies."

“How come they're looking for hippies?” asked the other.

“Dunno, probably figure they're the master race on Earth because they make all the noise."

Actually, I don't mind hippies. I only use that term to describe the nihilists of today. Guess I'm still "old school." Obviously, dissension and protest is allowed under our Constitution and must be tolerated for democracy to survive. I just prefer hanging out with the working-class people of America who built our country and maintain it; plus, they provide protection, services, and medical care in all of our neighborhoods. There are factions and some politicians, however, who “love eating the honey but are loathe to credit the bees."

Later on, the same spaceship landed in California and made contact with some hippies. After interviewing them and hearing of the plights of humanity — the forest fires, earthquakes, gang warfare, drug epidemic, crime, and overpopulation — they decided Earth was not a good place for reinhabitation. They got out of there in a hurry and scurried back to planet Uk.

“Why don't they bathe?” asked the crew.

"Because their water supplies are low," replied the captain.

Maybe hippies can be useful, after all: They may have saved planet Earth from an alien invasion.

Dennis Cooke