There was a day last week when I had to work at the same time there was a play performance that we planned on attending. How could I be in two places at once? Then I remembered the faithful Duluth Transit Authority. My five children could take the bus downtown, attend the play and I could pick them up in my safe car. Perfect solution, except I had to battle "worry monsters."
I asked the kids about the idea, expecting reticence. However, every one of them thought it would be a hoot.
My children range from 5 to 14 years old, and four of them have ridden this bus route at least once. It wasn't an outrageous plan, and the bus rules state that children cannot ride the bus unaccompanied without someone older than 13. The rules don't state that the responsible companion needs to be aware of all the bad guys out there.
We made our plan and on that morning everybody got up excited for the day. I handed every child 60 cents. I said, "Ellen's got the extra money. John's got the phone...."
"And I've got the looks!" Will yelled from downstairs. Always helpful, that one.
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So I placed them in God's hands and away they went, at least two of them jumping up and down with excitement.
I was nervous about it. These kids needed to get out the door on time without argument and without me hounding them (itself no small feat). The bus stop is five blocks away, unless you take the shortcut through the woods -- of course, when you're on an adventure you have to take the shortcut through the woods. They had to get to the bus stop, wait for the bus, load on successfully and possibly talk the bus driver into taking all of them without a parent. The bus ride would take about 20 minutes, and then they would have to get off at the right spot.
The plan was for them to walk a few blocks to their dad's office, stop in for a visit and a handful of pretzels, then walk to the theater -- where I would show up at some point during the performance.
Working through my maternal worries, I decided that the absolutely worst thing that could happen would be that all five of them would be kidnapped. But who, driving down a busy street, would see five kids at a bus stop and decide to kidnap all of them? Criminals are notoriously not clear thinkers, but nobody would be stupid enough to try to kidnap five kids at the same time. Driving away the hounds of "what-ifs," I turned back to my work.
Several hours later I walked into the theater and all five of my children were there -- whole and satisfied with themselves. They were excited to share experiences with me that I hadn't been a part of.
The kids told me that a guardian angel did stop by during their adventure. One of our dear friends (somebody who would never send her children on a bus trip by themselves) had driven by the bus stop, slowed down, mouth agape, stopped her car, hopped out and excitedly asked, "Is anything wrong? What are you guys doing here? Did something happen to your mother?"
They explained to her that they were on adventure. She wanted to give them a ride downtown, but they declined.
She didn't realize that she was going to be used as a safety checkpoint that day. But her shocked face, and my children's opportunity to check in with a familiar face in the midst of broaching new territory, added to the excitement of the adventure.
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As our nation celebrates Mother's Day, remind yourself that the end goal is to accompany these little people into independent adulthood. At some point on your mothering journey, you have got to get out of the minivan and into a two-seat coupe. I was thinking this as I watched my five kids skip out the door, into the rain and head downtown without me.
I'm trying to work myself out of a job.
Monthly columnist S.E. Livingston is a wife, mother and teacher. E-mail her at selivingston68@yahoo.com .
