As a veterinarian with almost two decades of experience, I have encountered death countless times. Often, death is brought about by my hands in cases where there is terminal suffering. I feel compassion for both the owners and their animals, and I rarely openly weep because I know I am doing the animal a favor.
But I was plunged into grief last month and wept openly for a special animal many people in Duluth will remember.
"Beauty" was an 18-year-old puma that lived at the Lake Superior Zoo. She was the proud mother of three daughters and had spent all her adult life at the zoo. She had been hand-raised and was not fearful of humans, but she still had all the dangerous attributes of a wild animal.
Beauty was horribly arthritic in her advanced age and, as a result, had been housed in the zoo's veterinary hospital so she did not have to contend with the harsh weather this past winter.
Beauty recently developed a severe acute problem that carried a poor prognosis, and I found myself weeping as we faced the decision to end her life.
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Beauty was one of those unique, special animals that touched me from the moment I met her. When I came into the office, I could hear her batting the big red ball I gave her, bashing it against the wall. The sound made me smile. Each day, before I left the zoo, I'd go to her enclosure for my "Beauty fix." She'd get up, give several of her characteristic squawking meows and come to the front of her cage for a good scratching. Her deep purr almost made the walls vibrate.
She was always so incredibly happy to see a human, and she had a remarkable way of making me feel really good about myself. Beauty was a wild animal, after all, and didn't have to care a whit about humans. Her attention felt a bit like unconditional love.
And we loved her back. I think our love for her was one thing we all could agree on at the zoo. We didn't always agree on a course of action to take, or like a particular person's behavior, or think that the city or powers-that-be were doing the right things. But we all could agree that Beauty was special, and we loved her dearly.
Beauty embodied so many good things about working at the zoo. She allowed me to enjoy the fascination of seeing the perfect physique of a wild animal up close. She was a symbol to me of why it is so important to educate people about wildlife and why it is so necessary for us to have these creatures thrive in our modern world.
Like our love for Beauty, I suspect these values of preserving and honoring wild spaces and wild creatures are things that most of us at the zoo, and many of us in the community, can agree upon.
This is an incredibly stressful time for people involved with the zoo. The operational challenges and administrative changes have everyone uncertain and edgy.
Beauty helped us remember our bond with nature that is so vital to our personal quality of life. She also represented the bond with animals that transcends our ability to define love.
As zoo officials and the community go through the challenging process of determining the future of the Lake Superior Zoo, I hope they can remember what Beauty brought to us and the reasons we treasure wild animals in our midst.
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Louise M. Beyea of Duluth is an emergency veterinarian at Affiliated Veterinary Emergency Service in Duluth and serves as the veterinarian for the Lake Superior Zoo.
