It may seem too simple, but I believe that a neighborhood can be characterized by the lifespan of a pumpkin. Yup, the ol' pumpkin-smashing scale. How long do your pumpkins last? How long after Halloween can you risk keeping those "gourd gangsters" off your front steps?
I live in Lincoln Park and, no matter what you may be grumbling under your breath about that part of town, I love it. I have great neighbors, a great school -- and I'm one of the LP's biggest "homers."
Two years ago our pumpkins lasted just five days.
Last year they were untouched. They were carved and placed outside unattended as the whole family pounded the pavement to fill our candy bags. We returned to pumpkins still glowing brightly and grinning at us with uneven square teeth.
So my wife and kids hopped aboard the "Secret Pumpkin Patch Train" at the Depot and returned with three fine specimens to place in front of the house. Now I have no idea what goes through the mind of a pumpkin killer, but I assume a whole, un-carved pumpkin would make their most-wanted list. Still, as of 3:45 a.m. Thursday morning, the pumpkins sit untouched -- 12 days and counting.
ADVERTISEMENT
I say this situation isn't a ticking time bomb but rather a good gauge as to the make-up of our communities. It's evidence that substantiates the moral ethics of your neighborhood. It's proof of whether the youth in your neck of the woods are punks or paragons. How long do your "pun-kins" last? How early will you put them out? Have you feared for the life of your gorgeous gourds? I have, but so far ... they're alive. Alive!
Have a happy Halloween everyone.
Johnny Lee Walker co-hosts the morning show on KDAL (610 AM) from 5 to 9 a.m. every weekday. Reach him via budgeteer@duluthbudgeteer.com .
