Graduating from a child's strife

The graduation party was typical in most respects. A tent pitched on the lawn. Food on the deck. The keg of root beer.

But there among the photos, not far from the television playing its video of the graduate's life, lay a sheet of notebook paper. The notebook paper, which had been ripped from a spiral-bound notebook, was protected by a sheet of clear plastic. On the paper was a lot of writing in bold pencil strokes.

The sheet was titled, "10 things I hate about my life."

It was the most unique item I came across in several grad parties this summer. The manifesto had been scrawled by the graduate, who shall remain anonymous, in about the third grade. It was addressed specifically to her mother. Her mother had tucked the sheet of paper away, knowing she'd probably want to use it someday.

Here then is what the graduate wrote when she was 8 or 9 years old, quoted verbatim. (Just so you know, Reba, Rachel and Beth are her

sisters.)

10 things I hate

about my life

1. Kari moved.

2. Reba and Rachel -- OHHH. (Sad face)

3. Beth's a brat.

4. I have to be in the middle of two friends.

5. I have to go to bed at

7:30 or 8.

6. I can't do things my friends can do.

7. I have to share a room with Reba and Rachel.

8. I have to live with R and R.

9. I have to sleep in the same room with R and R.

10. I don't have a radio and rollorBlades.

She followed the list with a request for action: "Write back or come up to my room."

"I went up to her room," her mother told me the other day. "We talked."

It should be noted that this girl grew up to be a happy, talented, well-adjusted young woman. She loves her sisters. She may even have "rollor Blades" now.

But those words, eloquently penciled on that piece of paper, said more about a child's path to graduation than any video I've seen at a grad party. All of us -- graduates and parents alike -- have been there. The friend who moves away. Those creepy siblings. Being caught in the crossfire of friends. Not having enough toys.

The list was at once hilarious and touching. Nothing is tougher as a parent than knowing your kid is hurting and not being able to make it all better. Nothing is tougher for a kid than being overwhelmed when the world seems to pile up on you.

You knew, reading the list, that this girl was going to be OK. She knew how to get her feelings out. She knew she could tell her mom what was bugging her. She was clear and direct and organized.

She also had a wise mother who did two things right. She went up to talk to her daughter.

And she saved that list.