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Barton Goldsmith column: 5 ways to sweeten, and deepen, the love between you

Start with one or two ideas and then try another.

You can show your love in a million or so ways. Here are a few more to help you deepen and sweeten your relationship. You may already be doing some of these. If not, pick one or two and see how it goes.

1. Share what you both love best. I play guitar and sing a bit, and when my wife joins in, suddenly it’s a scene from "Duets." Sometimes while listening to me play, she takes out her cellphone, turns on the flashlight and waves it like she’s in the audience at a concert. She also loves exploring, and I have seen more of California since we have been together than I ever did before, and it has been a joy. We’ve limited our travels to SoCal during the pandemic, but there have been a lot of great daytrips.

2. Sometimes, it’s all relative. Yes, I am talking about in-laws. Some of the wisest words I ever heard are not to make your in-laws into outlaws. Keeping good relations is wise, as you and your partner will feel better about your relationship. My mother-in-law is visiting from Europe for the holidays, which is making my wife so happy. This in turn makes me happy, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the family dinners. There has not been one moment of tension or anger, because we are all nice people. It’s that simple. Just be nice.

3. Always work on your relationship. It doesn’t have to feel like work. It’s more just keeping your balance and being there if your partner loses theirs. You can learn a lot of good techniques on your own with a relationship book. Read a chapter and talk about it with your partner and how you do or could do more of what’s recommended. Take tips from happy couples you know. It’s great emotional exercise and will deepen your relationship.

4. Remember your commitment to your partner. Commitment is what makes the difference between thriving as a couple and being unhappy. We all have moments where we get a little insecure about our relationships (especially when you are married to the most beautiful woman on the planet). So it is very nice to hear her reaffirm your love every day of your life. When I was a kid, I thought it was corny, but not anymore.


5. Make the ones you love feel safe. Creating that safe space for feelings in your relationship and your household is a great tool for bonding. My wife knows she is safe with me, and I feel the same with her. We take care of each other in different ways, and that creates a very nice balance in our home.

These five ways to sweeten and deepen the love between you are just a few ideas to become closer to the one you adore. Start with one or two and then try another. Remember that it’s never too late to increase your bond and your fun.

Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, California, is the author of "The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time." Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith , or email him at . ©2021 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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