Articles

Brian Matuszak column: How to stay married 50 years, most of it with the same person

So it’s my aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary this weekend, and before I wish them the happiest of days, I need to talk to my Uncle Ronnie a minute.

• Ron and Jan Nelson
• Brian Matuszak

Column: Brian Matuszak’s Mother’s Day message: Listen to mom or else ….

So it’s Mother’s Day weekend and you know what that means: Unsolicited advice from the world’s greatest advice-giver. Only this time you HAVE to listen — mostly because it’s Mother’s Day, but also because you forgot to buy something and a hand-drawn crayon card works only until you’re six. After that, it’s just sad.

• Brian Matuszak

Brian Matuszak column: Brian clears his head of random thoughts

Time to make room in my brain for those fancy thoughts of love that start turning up when the lilacs bloom, so let’s commence with the spring cleaning of my mind and unload some Random Thoughts!

• Brian Matuszak

Brian Matuszak column: Rise, shine, and drink some coffee

So what did you have for breakfast today? Oatmeal? Quiche? Egg McBurrito? Yeah, me neither. I have never been a big breakfast guy, which is really strange when you consider how I was raised.

• Brian Matuszak

Brian Matuszak column: Mickey’s passion for life, stage swept Brian like a tidal wave

So a friend passed away last week. She wasn’t a close friend. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I saw her. She was, however, one of those lovely souls who step into your life path for a bit and then move on, randomly drifting in and out after that.

• Brian Matuszak

Spring sprung early; famous burgers beckon

BRIAN MATUSZAK: So it’s spring, the time of year that a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love, but his tummy turns to thoughts of Gordy’s Hi-Hat in Cloquet.

• Brian Matuszak
• Gordy's Hi-Hat

Dyeing Easter eggs colors Brian’s memory

So we’re already just a couple weeks away from the second-biggest holiday that involves a supernatural being breaking into your house and leaving you mystery goodies (third-biggest, if you’re neighbors with Charlie Sheen). Yes, it’s almost Easter, which means you better commence with the egg boiling.

• Brian Matuszak
• Egg coloring event

Destination Imagination always a trip worth taking!

BRIAN MATUSZAK: D.I. should be front-page news around here. Proctor had a number of teams advance to Global Finals last year, competing with teams from all around the world!

• Brian Matuszak

Brian’s new face gets no reaction

So I purchased new glasses a few weeks back, and now I look like Elmer Fudd, if Elmer Fudd had purchased new glasses a few weeks back (along with a double chin). But I do kind of like it. I am rockin’ the Retro-Freaky-Geek-Wannabe look.

• Brian Matuszak

Brian’s brain is clogged with random thoughts

So the winter of 2011 finally arrived … in February of 2012. It would have been here sooner, but it had to wait for a permit from the Duluth Weather Inspection Office.

• Brian Matuszak

Columns

Budgeteer columnist Brian Matuszak’s middle name is ‘Debacle’

I know it’s hard to believe, especially when you glance at my picture that accompanies this column, but I am not the smoothest operator when it comes to ... well, anything, really. When the chips are down, I tend to pick them up and, in a panicked state, shove them into my mouth and chew. I have been known to put the D in “debacle”, the SHUN in “humiliation”, and the DORK in “dork.”

• Matuszak

Brian’s End-of-the-Year-Best-of-Worst-of-Annual-Wrap-up column

So, 2011 is over and if you blinked, you missed it. If you blinked while nodding your head, you may have been mistaken for Barbara Eden. But even if you didn’t blink OR nod your head OR mistakenly send Dr. Bellows back to the Wild West, 2011 is still over. Seeing as I still have one column left to write this year and not a ton of time available in which to write it (I’m whipping up a batch of figgy pudding to bring to those #@!$! carolers on my front lawn so they’ll leave), I better dig out that musty chestnut of a column idea, and do an End-of-the-Year-Best-Of-Worst-Of-Annual-Wrap-up Column. See if our choices match! (If they do, you need to make an appointment to see Dr. Bellows immediately.)

• Matuszak

Making Wisconsin Dells an annual winter getaway

BRIAN MATUSZAK: So you know that chunk of time you have right around the second or third weekend in November when Thanksgiving is so close it causes your chest to cinch up tighter than Jim Stauber’s wallet because you realize your year is basically over?

Brian honors the man (and woman) of La Pasta

BRIAN MATUSZAK: So, there used to be a time when a sketch comedy artist could stand on a stage in this town, utter the words “Jeno” and “Fedo” for two hours, and audiences would eat it up. Sadly, that time has now come to an end.

Renaming scat and other random thoughts from Brian

So, it’s Thanksgiving weekend, which means a lot of lethargic napping after turkey interaction. Or, as we refer to it in Minnesota: Vikings game day. I’m too groggy to concentrate, so let’s silly things up with another random thoughts column!

Brian says ‘Give thanks for Thanksgiving’

So, judging by all the Halloween merchandise on clearance (I can’t imagine why more people didn’t buy the fake Kardashian butts at K-Mart, but at 75percent off, I’ll take ‘em all – never know when you’ll have to host a Packer Party) and by all the Christmas stuff being shoved in my face faster than the Duluth School Board hustles Art Johnston out of closed-door meetings, I’d say the holidays are in full swing. But during this busy time of year, please don’t forget about Thanksgiving.