So I had an entire column ready to go this week that celebrated the success of the Minnesota Vikings. It was filled with hilarious, yet insightful, commentary about how dominant the team has been this year, especially when compared to that laughingstock of the NFL, the Green Bay Packers.
Needless to say, I had to completely scrap that, so how about some Random Thoughts instead?I got my Duluth Festival Opera season ticket flyer in the mail today: “Porgy and Bess” with Donny and Marie Osmond, “Madame Butterfly” featuring Barbara Reyelts and a gypsy moth chorus, and “Amahl and the Night Visitor”, starring the ghost of Michael Jackson. I heard they are also considering “The Magic Flute” in conjunction with Pridefest, but that’s unconfirmed at this time.Can’t go into details, but believe me when I say that cats aren’t the only ones that go crazy for Fancy Feast Tender Liver and Turkey Giblets.OK, I get it, Smokey ... only I can prevent forest fires. But it seems to me that the sweaty fat guy with the Swisher Sweets in the campsite next to me should share some responsibility as well.Plaid slacks are coming back. You heard it here first.Why can’t they stop making Hamburger Helper and just let that meat fend for itself?I know my mom “claims” it was an accident that I got left behind at Tobie’s in Hinckley on our way home from that Twins game in 1977, but I’m not so sure. I saw that look in her eyes when I walked in the door after getting a ride home from a guy in a pickup truck filled with shattered dreams and lawn ornaments that was headed towards Floodwood. And I remember ....I was so hooked on a certain type of social media, I was constantly using it, even in the bathroom. I was so far gone, I would drool as I updated my status. Finally, I got so jaded, I stopped using it. Yup, I’m a Bitter Twitter Quitter Who Was a Spitter in the … Facilities.Peanut butter pumpkins stay fresh for a remarkably long time. You know what that means! Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas breakfast is now covered!If I were an alien and my name was Um, I’d think the weekend weather guy on Channel 6 was always talking to me.I think the Vikings will still make the playoffs! Of course, I also still think that if I keep changing the stations on my truck radio, someone is bound to be playing Barry Manilow somewhere.
Brian Matuszak has been difficult and demanding since February 2008. He is the co- founder of Renegade Comedy Theatre, founder of Rubber Chicken Theater, and is not actually on the mailing list for the Duluth Festival Opera, but does believe in the power of plaid slacks and peanut butter pumpkins.
budge opinion, budgeteer